Miracles happen all around us if we are open to seeing and
receiving. It is the seeming coincidences and synchronicities
that happen to show us that God or source is present and we are in
alignment with divinity. I have experienced Richard several
times this past summer, as I stay awake to the possibility that love is
formless and transcends the boundaries of time and space. He
shows up when I am conscious and aware.
Just two days after my birthday, I was in line at Starbucks. I
was waiting in the pick-up line with my friends for their coffee.
I bought a banana nut muffin and was regretting that I had not ordered
a latte. I was thinking about Richard and in my head I had a
dialogue going on. I was saying: “oh, my god, Richard, you would
be so upset if I was truly considering giving up coffee.” He
brought me coffee every morning and was the person who introduced me to
coffee in college. One moment later, in the pick-up line, they
called out “Richard!” A man stepped forward to retrieve his
coffee, turned around with two cups and said to me: “hey, they
gave me two by mistake, would you like one?” I smiled as he
handed a large cup of Java with “Richard” on the cup. I
thought: “that’s no mistake. That’s my Richard.”
These are the moments that bring tears of joy as joy is beginning to
replace my sorrow. As I have accepted this transition and life
change of losing Richard, I am opening to more love, joy and
happiness. All things that we label good or bad often hold in
them surprises if we stay open. Each of us has choice in how we
interpret life’s events and in this way we are each responsible for our
own reality. I live on in this world not always being happy about
the circumstances if front of me, but I know that each challenge and
each blessing hold gifts in them. Richard said in October
just eight weeks before he died: “Kris, I love the human
spirit. There are people in this world that allow their
greatest tragedy to move them forward and their lives have greater
purpose and meaning.” I remember his words and the intensity of
this moment, as my own husband was instructing me on his own
expectations of how he hoped I would live.
Presence is a powerful thing and Love even more so. The
force of the two together is astounding. Richard had tremendous
presence in form and also tremendous love. He served as the
highest example on all levels. Today, August 31, 2008 would mark
our 23rd wedding anniversary and we would have been together 27
years. I carry his love in my heart and am so grateful and
honored to have been his wife and life partner. It was a true joy
to live life with such a quality man! It is as Randy
Pausche of “The last lecture” said: ‘It is not the cards we have been
dealt. It is how we play the hand.” I say: Live life
presently and all will be well.
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